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The Importance Of Reading Fairy Tales In A Child’s Life

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The Importance of Fairy Tales in a Child’s Life

Wisdom from Bruno Bettelheim’s The Uses of Enchantment

I spent many delicious hours as a child reading fairy tales. Even today, many of the stories I devoured ring clear in my head, although I have not read them in perhaps forty years. Stories of dancing princesses escaping to an underground world of music and balls, the finding of a magic ring baked in a cake, the agony of a sister trying to free her brothers from a spell that has changed them into swans-these elements of fairy tales sank deep into my heart and imagination and continue with me today. Why is this?

As I pondered this question, I had a chance meeting with a woman who had run a Christian bookstore for years. She told me of the many parents who would come into the store looking for suitable reading material for their children. When offered fairy tales, they would shy away, fearing the dark and disturbing images that had the potential to frighten and traumatize their young ones. Their argument would go like this: “Fairy tales are scary and present the world dishonestly. They would make my child confused as to what is real and what is fabricated. They are full of ogres and witches and giants, so why should I allow my child to be terrified by things that aren’t even real?”

Because I write full-length Christian-based fairy tales, I decided to explore these questions and address these valid concerns of many parents. I thought back to a book I had read when my first daughter was born: Bruno Bettelheim’s famous book, The Uses of Enchantment. I remember the impact that book had on me, and because of its logic, chose to immerse my children in the world of fantasy and fairy tales throughout their childhood. Now that they are grown, I have asked them how these stories have shaped and affected their worldview and creativity. They have no doubt that their lives have been seriously enriched by this experience, and reading fairy tales has contributed toward their healthy and confident attitudes about the challenges and terrors of this life.

Bruno Bettelheim was a child psychologist, famous for his research on autism. The aforementioned book written in 1976 won him a National Book Award. I love what he writes in the introduction. “Wisdom does not burst forth fully developed like Athena out of Zeus’s head; it is built up, small step by small step, from most irrational beginnings. Only in adulthood can an intelligent understanding of the meaning of one’s existence in this world be gained from one’s experiences in it. Unfortunately, too many parents want their children’s minds to function as their own do-as if mature understanding of ourselves and the world, and our ideas about the meaning of life, did not have to develop as slowly as our bodies and minds. Today, as in times past, the most important and also the most difficult task in raising a child is helping him to find meaning in life.”

Working in the field of autism presented Bettelheim with the challenge of restoring meaning to the lives of severely disturbed children. He found most literature for young readers to be sadly lacking in the ability to accomplish this task, but also knew that literature held the best promise to pass on cultural heritage, which he felt was crucial. And this was what he deemed necessary: “To enrich [the child’s] life, it must stimulate his imagination; help him to develop his intellect and to clarify his emotions; be attuned to his anxieties and aspirations; give full recognition to his difficulties, while at the same time relate to all aspects of his personality-and this without ever belittling but, on the contrary, giving full credence to the seriousness of the child’s predicaments, while simultaneously promoting confidence in himself and in his future.” He goes on to say how important it is that literature provide a moral education which subtly, and through implication only, “conveys to him the advantages of moral behavior.” His conclusion? “The child finds this kind of meaning through fairy tales.”

The German poet Schiller wrote: “Deeper meaning resides in the fairy tales told to me in my childhood than in the truth that is taught by life.” How can this be? Bettelheim says, “These tales start where the child really is in his psychological and emotional being. They speak about his severe inner pressures in a way that the child unconsciously understands and . . . offers examples of both temporary and permanent solutions to pressing difficulties.”

Parents longing to protect their children from evil, scary things in the world do well to remember that this is the world to which we are preparing them to face. By hiding that world from their awareness, by trying to postpone or color the harsh realities of life, we are doing them a great disservice. We have the Bible as the master example of frankness and the revealing and candid exposing of evil in its many forms. God did not censor murder, rape, betrayal, cruelty, incest, and even sexual passion from the pages of His word. Parents may argue that a young child does not need to learn about these things, and it is true-there is a time and season for all things, and some are best to cover when a child may be more mature to understand and emotionally deal with some of these things.

Here’s what Bettelheim says: “In child or adult, the unconscious is a powerful determinant of behavior. When the unconscious is repressed and its content denied entrance into awareness, then eventually the person’s conscious mind will be partially overwhelmed by derivatives of these unconscious elements, or else he is forced to keep such rigid, compulsive control over them that his personality may become severely crippled . . . . The prevalent parental belief is that a child must be diverted from what troubles him most: his formless, nameless anxieties, and his chaotic, angry, and even violent fantasies. Many parents believe that only conscious reality or pleasant and wish-fulfilling images should be presented to the child-that he should be exposed only to the sunny side of things. But such one-sided fare nourishes the mind only in a one-sided way, and real life is not all sunny.”

Rather than shelter children from life’s evils, we can equip them with the tools needed to face them head-on with confidence. Bettelheim says that a struggle against severe difficulties in life is unavoidable, is an intrinsic part of human experience. If one does not shy away, “but steadfastly meets unexpected and often unjust hardships, one masters all obstacles and at the end emerges victorious.”

The Elements of Fairy Tales

The fairy tale, according to Bettelheim, confronts the child squarely with the most scary subjects in life: death, aging, loss of a parent, being trapped or lost, and other stresses. The fairy tale simplifies all situations, allowing the child to come to grips with the problem in its most essential form. The figures are clearly drawn and the details, unless very important, are eliminated. All characters are typical rather than unique. Evil is as common as any virtue and both are usually embodied in the form of a figure or their actions. Evil is not without its attractions, “symbolized by the mighty dragon or giant, the power of the witch, the cunning queen in ‘Snow White.’ ” In many fairy tales the usurper succeeds for a time-as with Cinderella’s sisters and step-mother-but in the end, the evildoer is punished, and the moral is that crime does not pay. Because the child follows the hero through his or her journey, he can identify with the hero in all his struggles-suffering and triumphing with him. Bettelheim says that the child “makes such identifications all on his own, and the inner and outer struggles of the hero imprint morality on him.”

The most important element in fairy tales, to me, is the moral choice presented to the hero. The child learns that choices have consequences, and the child can choose what kind of person she wants to be. Only by “going out into the world” does the hero learn, and acquire happiness. The fairy tale is future-oriented and guides the child, so that instead of escaping into a world of unreality, she is given tools to help her develop character and courage to face what the world presents to her. Often the hero is lost, alone, frightened. These are feelings a child identifies with. Yet, her hero is guided and given help along the way because of his determination and courage. In this way, fairy tales work their own kind of magic, for in reading them, the child feels understood and enriched, giving the child what Bettelheim says is “an enchanted quality just because he does not quite know how the stories have worked their wonder on him.

“Fairy tales, unlike any form of literature, direct the child to discover his identity and calling, and they also suggest what experiences are needed to develop his character further. Fairy tales intimate that a rewarding, good life is within one’s reach despite adversity-but only if one does not shy away from the hazardous struggles without which one can never achieve true identity.” This is a basic tenet of the Bible as well: that those who want to please God and obtain his favor need to endure difficulties; that these trials produce endurance, character, and hope, and that the hope does not disappoint (Romans 5:3-5).

So, do not discount fairy tales as a bad influence on your children. Rather, be selective, and choose age-appropriate stories to give to them. But do not be afraid of unleashing their imagination and letting them confront their darkest fears. By giving them heroes to identify with, you are letting those fears surface in a subtle manner, and allowing your child to find his courage and make moral choices vicariously-choices that will build his character and have influence on the rest of his life.

I look at my daughters, now grown, and see how that world of imagination and fantasy helped them to face evil and struggles, gave them confidence and courage, and stimulated their imagination which poured over into their art, writing, poetry, and music. We cannot hide our children from the evils of the world, and even explaining everything in a pat manner from God’s Word does not dispel the deep fears and worries a child has. Only by bringing them to the surface in a safe and imaginative way can we as parents help them mature and become responsible adults. I think of that word, responsible, as response-able, for that is our goal: to help our children become able to respond competently to any situation life puts before them, and fairy tales will help them do just that.

16 Most Inspiring Famous Failures

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To succeed in business or life, I came to realize that we must continually take remedial actions. Putting myself on the line day after day can be extremely draining, especially when things do not work out as I desired. Hence, each time I face a disappointing event or undesirable outcome, I NEVER FORGET these famous failures:

1. Bill Gates, founder and chairman of Microsoft, has literally changed the work culture of the world in the 21st century, by simplifying the way computer is being used. He happens to be the world’s richest man for the last one decade. However, in the 70’s before starting out, he was a Harvard University dropout. The most ironic part is that, he started a software company (that was soon to become Microsoft) by purchasing the software technology from “someone” for only $US50 back then.

2. Abraham Lincoln, received no more than 5 years of formal education throughout his lifetime. When he grew up, he joined politics and had 12 major failures before he was elected the 16th President of the United States of America.

3. Isaac Newton was the greatest English mathematician of his generation. His work on optics and gravitation made him one of the greatest scientists the world has even known. Many thought that Isaac was born a genius, but he wasn’t! When he was young, he did very poorly in grade school, so poor that his teachers became clueless in improving his grades.

4. Ludwig van Beethoven, a German composer of classical music, is widely regarded as one of history’s supreme composers. His reputation has inspired – and in many cases intimidated – composers, musicians, and audiences who were to come after him. Before the start of his career, Beethoven’s music teacher once said of him “as a composer, he is hopeless”. And during his career, he lost his hearing yet he managed to produce great music – a deaf man composing music, ironic isn’t!

5. Thomas Edison who developed many devices which greatly influenced life in the 20th century. Edison is considered one of the most prolific inventors in history, holding 1,093 U.S patents to his name. When he was a boy his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything. When he set out on his own, he tried more than 9,000 experiments before he created the first successful light bulb.

6. The Woolworth Company was a retail company that was one of the original five-and-ten-cent stores. The first Woolworth’s store was founded in 1878 by Frank Winfield Woolworth and soon grew to become one of the largest retail chains in the world in the 20th century. Before starting his own business, Woolworth got a job in a dry goods store when he was 21. But his employer would not let him serve any customer because he concluded that Frank “didn’t have enough common sense to serve the customers”.

7. By acclamation, Michael Jordon is the greatest basketball player of all time. A phenomenal athlete with a unique combination of grace, speed, power, artistry, improvisational ability and an unquenchable competitive desire. Jordan single-handedly redefined the NBA superstar. Before joining NBA, Jordan was just an ordinary person, so ordinary that was cut from high school basketball team because of his “lack of skill”.

8. Walter Disney was American film producer, director, screenwriter, voice actor, and animator. One of the most well-known motion picture producers in the world, Disney founded a production company. The corporation, now known as The Walt Disney company, makes average revenue of US $30 billion annually. Disney started his own business from his home garage and his very first cartoon production went bankrupt. During his first press conference, a newspaper editor ridiculed Walt Disney because he had no good ideas in film production.

9. Winston Churchill failed the 6th grade. However, that never stopped him to work harder! He strived and eventually became the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom during the Second World War. Churchill is generally regarded as one of the most important leaders in Britain and world history. In a poll conducted by the BBC in 2002 to identify the “100 Greatest Britons”, participants voted Churchill as the most important of all.

10. Steven Spielberg is an American film director. He has won 3 Academy Awards an ranks among the most successful filmmakers in history. Most of all, Steven was recognized as the financially most successful motion picture director of all time. During his childhood, Spielberg dropped out of junior high school. He was persuaded to come back and was placed in a learning-disabled class. He only lasted a month and then dropped out of school forever.

11. Albert Einstein was a theoretical physicist widely regarded as the most important scientist of the 20th century. He was awarded the 1921 Nobel Prize for Physics for his explanation of the photoelectric effect in 1905 and “for his services to Theoretical Physics”. However, when Einstein was young, his parents thought he was mentally retarded. His grades in school were so poor that a teacher asked him to quit, saying, “Einstein, you will never amount to anything!”

12. In 1947, one year into her contract, Marilyn Monroe was dropped by 20th Century-Fox because her producer thought she was unattractive and cannot act. That didn’t deter her at all! She kept on going and eventually she was recognized by the public as the 20th century’s most famous movie star, sex symbol and pop icon.

13. John Grisham‘s first novel was rejected by sixteen agents and twelve publishing houses. He went on writing and writing until he became best known as a novelist and author for his works of modern legal drama. The media has coined him as one of the best novel authors even alive in the 21st century.

14. Henry Ford‘s first two automobile companies failed. That did not stop him from incorporating Ford Motor Company and being the first to apply assembly line manufacturing to the production of affordable automobiles in the world. He not only revolutionized industrial production in the United States and Europe, but also had such influence over the 20th century economy and society. His combination of mass production, high wages and low prices to consumers has initiated a management school known as “Fordism”. He became one of the three most famous and richest men in the world during his time.

15. Soichiro Honda was turned down by Toyota Motor Corporation during a job interview as “engineer” after World War Two. He continued to be jobless until his neighbors starting buying his “home-made scooters”. Subsequently, he set out on his own to start his own company. Honda. Today, the Company has grown to become the world’s largest motorcycle manufacturer and one of the most profitable automakers – beating giant automaker such as GM and Chrysler. With a global network of 437 subsidiaries, Honda develops, manufactures, and markets a wide variety of products ranging from small general-purpose engines and scooters to specialty sports cars.

16. Akio Morita, founder of giant electric household products, Sony Corporation, first product was an electric rice cooker, only sold 100 cookers (because it burned rice rather than cooking). Today, Sony is generating US$66 billion in revenue and ranked as the world’s 6th largest electronic and electrical company.

Writing Without Rules

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How does that work when you have writer's block? Even famous authors can suffer from writer's block. It can be very frustrating when you have a deadline and have to get that essay or report in on time.

What causes writer's block? Think back to your time in English class in school. Your teacher wants you to write an essay about Shakespeare or your thoughts on a particular poem for your homework. This you find boring. As you sit at home with your copy book open on a blank page the clock ticks loudly in the background. It is not happening. There is no enjoyment in the task. Teacher has set certain criteria about what has to be included in the essay, how long the essay should be, specific very important points that need to be expanded on and of course your own opinion. The list is endless and monotonous. The deadline is tomorrow morning first thing.

The stress levels are fairly high now. Where has the fun gone? Many adults have memories from school similar to this one. Now when you sit down to prepare a report or article this memory from your school years is playing in the back of your mind. You may not be aware of it but if you are sitting in front of a blank screen or piece of paper then there is a traumatic memory in there somewhere from your school days.

So what can you do about writer's block? Give this exercise a go before you start. Hold a pen in your non-dominant hand. Hold the palm of your other hand in front of you and draw what you see without looking at the page. Keep your eyes focused on all the creases and undulations of the palm of your hand. This is not about the finished piece of artwork. This is about the process.

You activate the right side of your brain when you draw with your non-dominant hand. This part of your brain is responsible for your creativity. The left side of your brain is you logical and analytical side. This is the side where you can get thought up in all the detail – such as all the points the teacher wanted included in the essay, the length of the essay and all the other 'teachers' rules from you school days.

When you activate the right side of your brain you will release your creativity and the ideas will start to flow. It will be a lot easier to write. Forget all the rules which the English teacher set. The only rule here is there are no rules. Give it a go and have fun writing without rules.

Four Key Habits For Successful Screenwriters

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What separates winners from losers? Why do some people manage to sell a screenplay, while others do not? In short, is there anything that we can learn from successful screenwriters that will allow others to achieve success?

Having worked in this business for around ten years now, I've certainly had lots of time to ponder this question, and, of course, to try and apply the lessons I have learned to my own career as a screenwriter.

While I do not profess to have all the answers – if I did I would be luxurating by the pool in my Hollywood villa rather than writing this article – I believe that you can adopt that will increase your chances of success as a screenwriter:

Persistence: This is the first key habit for a reason – this is not an easy business. If you come into it thinking that you can just whip out a quick draft of the first idea you think of and Hollywood will come knocking at your door you are in for a rude shock.

Many people think that screenwriting is easy – they've seen plenty of bad films, and they think "I could easily write something better than that!" And compared to a novel it's a snip to write a film script – whereas a typical novel weights in at around 120,000 words, a screenplay is closer to 20,000 words – so how hard can it be to write 20,000 words?

Actually, it's pretty hard! For while the screenplay format is significantly shorter than a novel, that brevity places its own demands upon you – no thoughts, no space to explain everything – you have to get straight into the story and show everything through what your characters do and say.

The truth is that many people write one screenplay, can not sell it, then quit – but like anything else, you get better with practice, so your second script will be better than your first, your third better than your second, and so on. Persistence is vital. Because if you keep writing, keep improving, keep networking, keep sending your scripts to people, you will eventually find someone who is interested in what you have written.

Keep Learning: Screenwriting is a skill, and you need to keep on developing and improving your skills. One way to do this is to be open to learning. There are many different ways to learn this skill – you can take a screenwriting class, buy a book on screenwriting, read articles like this, read professional screenplays, and of course be sure to regularly sit down and analyze completed films to see what works and what does not. Learning never ends.

Write From The Heart: Many writers spend time trying to write what is currently popular. Writing what you think people want to see – or, in fact, what you think they might want to see in three years time – is a waste of time. As William Goldman famously said of the movie business, "nobody knows nothing." The bottom line is that all good writing is about emotion – if you are passionate about your story and your craft, the emotion will show in your story, and readers will respond to that.

Write Regularly: Finally, any writer must commit to writing regularly. The only way to BECOME a writer is to BE a writer. Of course you will have another life – a job, family, hobbies etc – that will make it hard to write every day, but the more often you do, the better your writing will become.

With a few rare exceptions, good writers are made, not born. You can make yourself a good writer by being passionate, persistent, open to learning, and by writing every day. If you write it (and keep writing it) they will come …

Overcoming the Challenges Christian Youths Face Today

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The Christian youth are facing a lot of challenges. In a world which is increasingly becoming skeptical about anything related to God. A young Christian, for example, is unable to reconcile the ideas of evolution taught in school and the creation story they learned in church. There is also the pressure to conform to fit in a group. Preteen, teenage, and early adulthood years is the period when we strongly crave affirmation from our peers. The problem for the Christian youth is that conforming means abandoning Christian values in part or wholly. A sense of being untrue to our values may later bring regret or shame, which is detrimental to emotional well being. At this critical time, therefore, it is important for Christian youth to look for guidance to avoid problems later.

Christians are daily confronted by issues that pressure us to conform. When this happens, our initial reaction is to avoid the problem, but later, though, we start asking ourselves questions. For example, if all our peers are having intimate relationships, why not me? Why not smoke? Why should I go to church when everybody else seems to be having fun somewhere else?-and so many other questions. Asking these questions is the initial step in overcoming challenges. The second step, which is the most important, is looking for the right answers from a Christian perspective.

As true Christians, we are not called to conform, but to a renewal in Christ Jesus. That is what St. Paul told Christians in Rome in Romans 6: 3-4. The act of baptism is a sign of new life all Christians, including Christian youths, are called to. The bible says clearly that we should strive to be right with God, as opposed to pleasing our friends or striving for their affirmation.

As a youth who is under pressure do conform to sinful practices, the meaning of baptism should not be lost to them. But in a very fast world, it’s easy to compromise. The solution lies in commitment to faith. One way of growing in faith and reinforce defense against harmful peer pressure is becoming a member of a bible study group. The bible itself contains answers to the problems that youths face. Studying the bible in a group is a useful way not only on learning the word as written, but also offers a forum where Christians can openly discuss the challenges they face daily, how they overcome them, or how one can overcome in reference to bible teachings.

Often, Christian youths think that the challenges they face are unique to them. The truth, however, is that all of us, including the older Christians, faced the same problems during their youth. Talking to them therefore, is a great way of learning how to overcome the challenges. Lastly, it is very important to keep the right company. Writing to Corinthians, St Paul said that “good company destroys good morals.” While it is good to have non-Christian friends, hanging out with them all the time may cause more harm than good.

How To Gain Readers' Attention

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An article only serves its purpose when it appeals the user to click on the link during search and read it completely. It attains high value only when it routes good visitors', liked by readers, and has numerous organic comments. Everyone wants to write a high value article but only a few gets success. Let us inform you the secrets of successful content writing for good money generation. We have illustrated below the most essential techniques to write a quality and result-oriented article.

Select a Hot Topic

Write what is famous and is in hot trends. For example, an article on 'Wireless Network Storage Devices' will get more attention than one on 'Punch Cards'. You can make use of Google Trends and Google Alerts to know the latest topics. You can also write on the National or International Controversy with few lines what an end user can do.

Do your homework

Complete your homework before writing an article. Conduct an in-depth research on the selected topic and create a strategy how you will write your article. You can also take help of publishing media such as newspaper, magazines, etc. In addition, refer to the famous blog sites like CNET, EzineArticles, Squidoo, Infobarrel, Helium etc. to collect more information on your topic.

Attractive Title & First Paragraph

Only title is important to bring the user to your article page. Therefore, you have to work hard upon it. Most of the visitors just read important points like first paragraph, bulleted / numbered items, and last paragraph. We suggest you to write an eye-sticky first introductory paragraph.

Follow Modular Approach

Divide your articles into sections and give a proper heading to each section. Make sure that each section should serve a purpose and must have the content in a proper flow. Please do not break the flow when a reader switches from one section to another. If each section is self-narrative then there are good opportunities that reader will stick to your article until it finishes and revisits your website for more such articles. Include headings, sub-headings, Note, footnotes, etc. wherever necessary. You can also give number to the section headings and sub-headings.

Use bullets and numberings to highlight the main points. This will break up the clumsy text and grab reader's attention. The readers give more preference to the bullet / numbered items instead of big paragraphs. You can also cite the facts and figures in bullets.

Be Personal with the Reader

Have you ever visited a Mall or a Retail Showroom nearby? You make purchases only in two situations – when you need a specific product or services, and / or when you are impressed with it. Will you be impressed with a product or service if no one is there to help you and guide why you should buy this? The same thing you have to illustrate in your article.

Be personal with your reader and explain specifically for which he / she is looking. Write your article like you are talking to the reader. Make use of words like "you", "they" etc. while writing. This will make the reader a center point of your article and let him to read your article.

How to write?

Write from the readers' point of view and not according to the search engine. If your article is more readable then search engines will consider it automatically. Keep following points in mind while writing:

  • Write original and relevant content on your own.
  • Be specific and clear in your writing. Remember – to be or not to be. Say your observations directly and do not leave the reader in a state of confusion. Make sure that your article is fulfilling the promise made in the title and introductory paragraph.
  • An image is much better than thousandsands words. Insert relevant images in your content.
  • Use statistics, testimonials, experts' advice, and a lot of credibility in your article. Try to be authoritative.
  • Check your content for spelling and grammatical errors in a good Word processor like Word, Open Office Writer, and Works etc.
  • Check your written content at a plagiarism-checking website like plagiarism.org, plagium.com, and Copyscape.

Formatting

Select an appealing font and good font size of your normal text, sub-headings and headings. You can also use h1, p, h2, span, etc., tags to be browser-specific. Italicize your message and bold the specific words to gain the readers' attention.

Finishing Touch

You must know how to finish your article without breaking the flow irrespective of the word limit. The experts in writing always suggest including PS (Post Script) in the end of article. You can write three to four lines briefing your article and summarizing it in the PS section.

The above tips will help you to write an effective article to have better, gain readers' attention and to have more comments.

PS

You should give an attractive title, eye-sticky first paragraph, and use personal tone to capture the readers' attention. Make use of personal verbiage and conversational words to make the reader a center point of your article. Use proper formatting topics like italics, bold, strikethrough, and other fonts to focus your message.

If Your Girlfriend Left You Over Money Problems, You Need to Take Action

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What is the number one reason most relationships break up? Terrible sex? Too much nagging? Incompatibility? Another lover? You just drifted apart? It’s none of these. By far, the biggest reason that relationships fail can be summed up in one word: Money.

If you have money problems, then you have big problems. Nothing creates tension and hardships like persistent hassles with bills, paying rent, making a car payment – or maybe even not being able to afford a car at all! If your girlfriend left you over money problems, then you have one of the most difficult situations to remedy. Getting an ex-girlfriend to come back to you is hard enough the way it is. It’s even harder when you are hard up for cash.

But before we get all depressed about this situation, let’s get some perspective. Many guys think that if only they were rich, or at least well off, their girlfriend would have never left them. It’s not as simple as that. If you don’t believe it, just tune into what is happening with the rich and famous around the world, be it movie stars or royalty. It quickly becomes apparent that people with a lot of money have no better luck – an obviously sometimes a lot worse luck – with staying within a relationship. How many movie stars can you think of in the next five minutes who have two, three or maybe four divorces under their belts?

The fact is, having a lot of money is no guarantee of relationship success. If you are feeling sorry for yourself because your girlfriend left you over financial problems, then it’s time to start rethinking the whole situation. You could be filthy rich, and she might have left anyway.

What does this tell you about money? Clearly, it makes no difference how much you have or how little you have. If the fundamentals of your relationship are strong, even a terrible money situation should not be an excuse for your girlfriend to leave. Money is only a convenient excuse, an outward factor.

Okay, but let’s also recognize that while money may not be the ultimate reason she left you, it certainly was a contributing factor. That’s because constant stress over money creates an overall climate of tension and struggle. It is very difficult for any relationship to thrive in an environment of constant struggle.

Incredibly, many guys do exactly the opposite thing they should do when they have money problem, and their partner leaves – they plunge themselves into even more debt! That’s right!

There is something about relationship problems that can drive many men to lose all common sense. For example, they think that if they only had a nicer car, maybe their girlfriend would come back to them. So they pull out all the stops, marshal all of their resources, and take out a huge loan to get some new wheels. So now they have a shiny new car, and even more debt and payments to worry about. To get that new car, maybe they had to take out a second mortgage on their house, or run up huge debts on credit cards.

Other guys blow cash on some kind of bribe – maybe an expensive piece of jewelry to dangle in front of their ex in a desperate attempt to lure her back. Even if this works in the short term, as soon as the new load of bills start coming due, the stress level increases to all-new levels. Under these conditions, the relationship is probably doomed.

So the first step in getting your ex-girlfriend back if she left you over money stress is to start tackling your problems one at a time. The last thing you want to do if you have money problems is to get entangled into even more money problems. What you need to do is start getting your financial life under control. Rather than buying a new car – maybe it’s time to sell the one you have!

It’s all about making priorities in your life. You have to decide if you want to put your relationship and personal life first, or continue to be a slave to all of your bills. Of course, getting one’s financial life in order is never an easy task. If you think you can’t handle it by yourself, by all means, seek out some financial counseling from a professional. This does not have to cost you a dime. There are many free debt counseling services – especially in these tough financial times – that are available to you. Take advantage of them. Get some help formulating a solid plan to start paying down you debts, and to start earning more money.

Just taking that first step toward getting your financial life under control can be a tremendous relief. You will immediately get the feeling that you are finally doing something positive to take back control of your life. When you start getting financial control, you start reducing that all-pervasive stress that is tormenting you, and which made your relationship a living hell. It’s a sad fact of our modern society that, even when two people love each other, a general condition of financial stress can cripple even great relationships.

So let’s say you do the hard work, make the tough decisions and start the process of getting into a more financially stable position – but at the same time, you still have this other problem – the fact that your girlfriend is gone! It all can seem pretty overwhelming, and it is! That’s exactly why you have to take a deep breath, realize that the toughest problems are not solved easily or overnight, and take things one day at time.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t start taking the first steps to repair your busted relationship and take action to get your ex-girlfriend back. It might not be a bad idea to communicate with your ex and tell her what you are doing. Maybe write her a letter, and tell her something like:

“I know times have been tough, and that we argued a lot about money. I don’t blame you for not wanting to live a stressful life filled with constant worry over bills, or never having any money for us to go out and do anything fun. I really think my money problems were a big contributor to our break-up. Again, I don’t blame you, I blame myself. I just wanted you to know that I am taking positive steps to get my financial situation under control. I never want to have money problems again. I hope you will give me the time to get myself into a better position. If I do, I really think our relationship could be special again. I hope you will give me the time to right my ship, and maybe even consider coming back to me when I am in a better position, and when there won’t be so many problems for us to constantly worry about or argue over…”

… Or something along those lines.

Note that this in merely an example of the kind of letter you might write to your ex-girlfriend. But notice that the message in our example does not beg or blame. You only “blame yourself” and you also don’t beg your girlfriend to come back to you. You’re just letting her know that you still care about here, and that you are making positive changes in your life because of her. You can’t lose with this approach. Many girls would be flattered that their former boyfriend cares enough about them to want to radically transform their own lives, and strive to make a better world for the both of you.

Still, you may have to give it time. Money problems just don’t go away over night. If you have really serious money problems, things might even get worse before they get better. But until you get to the root of the problem, and remove financial stress from your life, it will be extremely difficult to get your ex-girlfriend back. And even if she does come back, she may only leave again once all the old money problems resurface again.

If there is anything positive about a broken relationship, it’s that this tough situation helps us to re-examine our lives to find out what is wrong them, and it forces us to make overall improvements in our situation. Getting control of money problems is one of the best things any guy can do – and it sets the stage for a stable and happy relationship that will last forever.

Release Your Own Blogging Potential

Missing Spring

Blogging is definitely one online activity that people enjoy. More and more people are getting themselves involved with blogging for whatever reason it may serve them. Blogging does not actually entail a person to be an expert and to be that technical. And this is the main reason why bloggers are growing in numbers nowdays. This activity is one activity that is gaining popularity nowdays and if you have not tried being a blogger yourself, you might want to consider being one after reading this.

Nowadays you will be able to get access to many blogs which are created for every topic available for every individual to get access to. You may find some which are meant for politics and some which are created for the general purpose to entertain mankind. Some may be wondering what makes blogging very different from any other online article creation site, forum or newsletters being submitted online. It is definitely for you to discover.

With blogging, you do not have to be that technical to be able to start one yourself. You will be able to get access to software and online services that will allow you to create blogs yourself. Even if you are very novice with blogging activities online, you can definitely learn to familiarize yourself with the whole system.

You may as well have those posts that you have created for public viewing. They are not restricted to the word count which is one rule that may be present on various article distribution sites and forums. These blogs can not be deleted that easily without the author being notified to do so. There is also no limitation for the topic that one desires to discuss on the content of the blog.

If you are into syndication of your content, you can simply avail of this through the use of blogs. More of these blogs provide syndication services which are now known to many, and have also drawn more visitors to visit blogs who offer them.

Blogs are merely what people rely on nowadays when it comes to information being informed by experienced author themselves or experts. You will be able to find various terms and phrases that you may not be able to find online by just searching ordinary sites.

Because of the characteristic of blogs being easier to handle and update from time to time, search engines are fond of ranking blogs which makes them a great tool to use for gaining enough popularity from search engines out there. Blogs are then more considered as reader and search engine friendly nowdays.

Through the use of blogs, people can now create content without having to worry about spamming and other spam-like activities that one may encounter online. This is one of the major reasons why more and more authors would opt to create content through the use of blogs rather than choose other ways of posting content online.

One will be able to learn many things from blogging. Aside from being able to get access to information and other educational stuff, one will be able to get access to facts regarding any kind of subject matter fast. At the same time, since blogs allow comments to be posted together with the articles, one may be able to get access to various opinions that may help readers and the authors themselves to learn more about relating the topic itself.

Blogs are productive options if you are to relate it with its possible costs. You do not have to worry about server costs to incur and at the same time other services which would as well be a waste of your time, effort and money. Through making use of blogs, you can insure yourself that you do not have to spend that much amount of money compared with other options available out there.

Blogging is not only a source of information but mainly a tool that can help every single individual share their knowledge or experience in life without having to think of what topic to write about. One can actually write about anything under the sun and be able to get feedback and comments for that specific post. One can be very much emotional in creating their posts, which definitely makes it a fun option when it comes to writing online.

Generally speaking, blogging is not just for a number of individuals but it is meant for anyone who feels about writing about certain subject matter that may interest the author himself or the audience. What is important is that you can write about stuff that will build the interest of individuals to read more and at the same time be able to gain more visitors to your blog to get yourself famous online and unleash that blogging potential.

Character Reference Letters

Show me the way ...

Good qualities of a person who is mistakenly targeted in crimes are shown in his character reference letter. This principle depends on all facts about person crimes and how the letter writer is behaves personally with him.

Character reference letter shows all information about a man and used in courts, if he has good character in this letter then court will be positive for him. This letter helps the court in judging about the person can be improve and that he greatly regretful for the crime dedicated to him.

This type of letter can write any person who knows well the person. So his family member, friends, teachers, coaches, a leader of the community, church or any cultural group, a college, or even a boss can make a letter.

The writer of character reference letter should be a signs of good personality and must hold generous reputation.

One should keep away himself from pointlessly gracious of crime.

All faults of person should be accepted and also highlight positive qualities and uniqueness to show court that the person is not an ordinary criminal and can be improved if court give him a chance. The letter should not contain any mendacity about person. It should connect to the truth and not change the story.

Letter should have prescribed tenor and design. The letter must be forwarded to prescribed judge in court. Letter should not be handwritten. It must be typed.

You should conscious that if stuff written in your letter proved to be false, then person can charge for this sin. There should be a short introduction about you in letter. All matters should be discussed which prove accuse as good character man.

What Makes a Writer a Writer?

Underwater Boating :)

An interesting discussion on LinkedIn is swirling around the topic of when a writer can call themselves a writer .. As I've watched the discussion unfold, some interesting ideas have cropped up. They are worth considering.

A writer is someone who has been published offline.

Considering that a large segment of the writing work available is almost exclusively online today, this definition just can not hold true. While it is almost guaranteed that someone who has broken into hard print is a very good writer, it does not preclude someone who has never had their work published in traditional media from being considered a writer.

A writer is someone who knows their grammar, punctuation rules and how to spell things correctly.

I'm not prepared to say this is true because I know that publishers, magazines and newspapers all hire copy editors for one very good reason. Not every writer on the team has good spelling skills. No writer's punctuation skills are perfect. And everyone has certain words they almost always type incorrectly. I've been a copy editor. It's always easier to see others mistakes.

For me, I have to watch dropping the "r" on your, adding a "d" in college and several other persistent misspellings. There are words I consistently add extra letters to and others I drop letters from almost every time I type them. And most of the time, they are words, so spell check does not catch them.

At the same time, if a writer can not tell the difference between when to use your and you're or its and it's, it will be an obstacle to achieving a higher pays scale. Excellence in every aspect of writing is essential if you want to be taken seriously.

A writer is a professional who makes a consistent income from writing.

This can be true. The definition of consistent may vary. I know that I began by approaching only a few hundred dollars a month from writing work. I had some months where I had no income from that source. At the same time, I was consistently seeking work. As a writing professional I took action.

  • I actively built my portfolio.
  • I built a free website on Office Live.
  • I focused on bridging the gap from when I studied journalism to what the market demands of writers today.
  • I applied every piece of knowledge I gained into strengthening my ability to write compelling materials.

To put the title "writer" on a resume, suggest you need to be more than someone who has started their own blog. Despite the fact that I have a ghostwriting tips blog, it is not this blog that makes me a writer. It's the fact that people read this blog and actually benefit from it that supports my claim that I am a writer.

A writer is someone who can explain different topics in language that the average person can understand.

This truly is a skill that not everyone possesses. In some ways, every writer needs to have a teacher's heart, the ability to break things down into understandable packages. Some writers are gifted with the ability to reach very young minds. That's why there are writers of children's books. Other writers just can not get down to that level, yet remain effective writers for a different audience.

A writer is more than someone who starts their own blog.

There are good blogs and so-so blogs. To truly claim to be a writer, the blog can not be riddled with grammar errors. A few spelling and punctuation errors are forgivable, especially as most blog writers can not afford a separate set of eyes to edit their work.

A writer is someone who crafts words to influence others.

It's the power to dig into the meaning of words and craft them as you have done that signifies a writer. The fact that you can express your arguments succinctly using words in their written form defines that you are a writer. Maybe that is the definition we should be holding to here. "A writer is someone who can write with words so effectively they can influence others whether they do it for pay or not."

It's not whether your work appears on the eviscerated remnants of a tree or on the electronic representation of a page that makes you a writer. It's whether your words move and / or motivate. A novelist may move through the creation of characters and plots. A web writer may motivate to action by carefully chosen words.

Both are writers. Both use their power over words to create an experience in the mind. That experience would not be there without the writer's ability to craft words.

What makes a writer a writer? We'll probably never be able to agree on a single definition. Too may people would disagree with the writer's version of the artist's definition, "A writer is a writer because he / she writes."