Tag: jokes

Analysis of the Writings of Kurt Vonnegut

Punti di vista / Points of view

Kurt Vonnegut is an American writer-famous for his novel-Slaughter House. He belongs to the generation of modern novelists.

Where We Live

In the narrative ‘where we live’, the writer introduces us to the rustic village called Cod Bay. There is an old library there and a salesman tells the librarian that the Britannica volume is worn out, an old one belonging to the era of 1938. He urges them to purchase a new one.

Harrison Bergson

Harrison Bergson is a writing piece about two people watching television-Hazel and her father Harry. Bergson had been out of prison. The people in the narrative are very emotional and get to talk about the mundane things of life.

Who am I this time?

The author has to take up the role of a theatre director. He discusses with the actors about real life situations which they could adapt in the play. The language that is used is the one of minimalism.

Welcome to the Monkey House

There is a discussion about birth control and ethical suicide as the population of the world is burgeoning. The writ-up is highly exaggerated and too difficult to believe.

Long walk to forever

In this article there is a description of a man and woman who had grown up together. They later meet and the man who is in the army comes to know that the woman is getting married. They have a walk and sort out issues and become reunited as a happy couple.

The Foster Portfolio

In the Foster Portfolio, the protagonist is an avid stock broker and he strikes a deal with a rich buyer named Henry. He is convincing and persuasive and he strikes a ton of a deal.

Miss Temptation

Miss temptation is a description of a voluptuous lady Susana. There are many lechers who stalk her. The story describes the beauty of the woman in ironic humor.

All the King’s Horses

All the King’s Horses is a story of an imprisoned American colonel and his wife. The enemy’s lieutenant engages in a sadistic conversation. He has got an inflated ego and hatred for the Yankees.

Tom Edison’s Shaggy Dog

Tom Edison’s shaggy dog is a writing that focuses on a Labrador. The dog is sensitive and intelligent and the dog always hangs his wet nose on the owner’s ankles. The narrator thinks that the dog had taught him a trick or two about casting winning lots in the stock market.

New Dictionary

In the New Dictionary, the author narrates his fascination about searching for new words in the lexicon. He favors the unabridged one over the abridged one. Dirty words are a treat for the author, a surreal divine forest.

Next Door

Next door is meat that describes a wall separating the dwellings of two families. There is a meek description of family life.

More Stately Mansions

More Stately mansions are a frigid narrative about the life of an aristocratic people. There is a lot of telling about the dwellings in the mansion, its decorations, and its furniture. One can’t be too impressed with the writing.

The Hyannis Port Story

The Hyannis Port Story is a literature in which the protagonist encounters a Commodore. Daily life is thumbed in vigorous prose.

DP

DP is a moving tale that describes an orphanage run by nuns. The children there come from all nationalities. Many of the children are going through an identity crises. They feel the loss of having been abandoned by their parents.

The Barn House Effect

In the Barn House Effect, the author describes the powers of the mind which he defines as dynamo-psychism. The powers of the mind like clairvoyance, telepathy and exist as a hypothetical conjecture.

15 Facts About Masada – Dead Sea, Israel

Il mare dei Malavoglia

Masada, also referred as Metzada, is a mountain top fortress that is located on the western shore of the Dead Sea in Israel. The Fortress includes barracks, storehouses, an armory, palace, cisterns, etc. Masada is a name that is derived from unmetzade, a Hebrew word, that means “stronghold” or “mountain castle”. It is worth disclosing the fact that Masada is considered as one of the greatest symbols of Israel’s ancient kingdom, its brutal destruction and Jewish revolt in the first century A.D. against Rome. Let’s discover some of the vital facts about Masada:

  1. It is located on the top isolated rock on the edges of the Dead Sea valley and the Judean Desert, between Ein Gedi and Sdom.
  2. Masada remained ignored for many centuries and came again in limelight after a famous epic entitled Masada, written by popular Hebrew poet in 1920’s. The epic has invoked the hidden emotions and gave a rousing account of fight.
  3. Masada plateau was naturally fortified and surrounded by deep gorges.
  4. Cliff on the east and west edge of Masada are about 400 m (1300) and 90 m (300) high respectively. Plataea’s top is flat and of rhomboid-shape.
  5. Around the plateau’s top, there was a casemate wall which is 1.3 km long, 3.7 m thick and has many towers.
  6. A Jewish Roman Historian, Herod the Great has fortified Masada in between 37 and 31 BCE to hide himself from the massive revolt.
  7. Sicarii, a group of Jewish rebels, defeated roman troops and defended Masada by taking control over it.
  8. At the end of the first century, Judea’s Roman Governor had decided to take back Masada.
  9. Masada was rediscovered by modern world in mid 19th century BC. Israeli archeologists, Yigael Yadin, in the early 1960’s, began excavating the region. Cable cars were added to the region, in order to make it accessible for tourists. The place is considered as most popular tourist destination in Israel, outside of Jerusalem.
  10. Being considered as one of the most respected Jewish symbols, Israeli soldiers take an oath at this site “Masada shall not fall again”. Oath taken by soldiers of Israeli army is an expression of commitment towards protecting modern Israel state.
  11. Since 2001, Masada has been counted as one of the UNESCO world heritage sites.
  12. On the western side of mountain, an audio-visual light show dramatizing Masada’s history is presented at the night time. Whereas, during winters there is no sound and light show.
  13. Two Mikvahs and Synagogue is considered as two most exciting sites that can be seen in Masada till today.
  14. Summers are usually hot, therefore visitors are not allowed to trek up the mountains during day time. However, it is advised that they can trek in the wee hours of the morning. Bottles of water and hat are two objects that are must to carry with themselves while trekking.
  15. Since 2007, a museum has been opened for the tourists showcasing detailed history of Masada along with some interesting artifacts.
  16. Masada is one of the most popular sites for dead sea tourists.

Masada is a site of fortifications and palaces located in Israel, near the Dead-Sea. It was considered as last stronghold, held by Jewish’s zealots. They refused to surrender to Roman Empire and preferred death to surrender. Now, Masada is well-recognized as tourists’ destinations visited by tourists from around the globe.

Analysis of the Writings of Kurt Vonnegut

COLORADO 2013 204_5_6_tonemapped

Kurt Vonnegut is an American writer-famous for his novel-Slaughter House. He belongs to the generation of modern novelists.

Where We Live

In the narrative ‘where we live’, the writer introduces us to the rustic village called Cod Bay. There is an old library there and a salesman tells the librarian that the Britannica volume is worn out, an old one belonging to the era of 1938. He urges them to purchase a new one.

Harrison Bergson

Harrison Bergson is a writing piece about two people watching television-Hazel and her father Harry. Bergson had been out of prison. The people in the narrative are very emotional and get to talk about the mundane things of life.

Who am I this time?

The author has to take up the role of a theatre director. He discusses with the actors about real life situations which they could adapt in the play. The language that is used is the one of minimalism.

Welcome to the Monkey House

There is a discussion about birth control and ethical suicide as the population of the world is burgeoning. The writ-up is highly exaggerated and too difficult to believe.

Long walk to forever

In this article there is a description of a man and woman who had grown up together. They later meet and the man who is in the army comes to know that the woman is getting married. They have a walk and sort out issues and become reunited as a happy couple.

The Foster Portfolio

In the Foster Portfolio, the protagonist is an avid stock broker and he strikes a deal with a rich buyer named Henry. He is convincing and persuasive and he strikes a ton of a deal.

Miss Temptation

Miss temptation is a description of a voluptuous lady Susana. There are many lechers who stalk her. The story describes the beauty of the woman in ironic humor.

All the King’s Horses

All the King’s Horses is a story of an imprisoned American colonel and his wife. The enemy’s lieutenant engages in a sadistic conversation. He has got an inflated ego and hatred for the Yankees.

Tom Edison’s Shaggy Dog

Tom Edison’s shaggy dog is a writing that focuses on a Labrador. The dog is sensitive and intelligent and the dog always hangs his wet nose on the owner’s ankles. The narrator thinks that the dog had taught him a trick or two about casting winning lots in the stock market.

New Dictionary

In the New Dictionary, the author narrates his fascination about searching for new words in the lexicon. He favors the unabridged one over the abridged one. Dirty words are a treat for the author, a surreal divine forest.

Next Door

Next door is meat that describes a wall separating the dwellings of two families. There is a meek description of family life.

More Stately Mansions

More Stately mansions are a frigid narrative about the life of an aristocratic people. There is a lot of telling about the dwellings in the mansion, its decorations, and its furniture. One can’t be too impressed with the writing.

The Hyannis Port Story

The Hyannis Port Story is a literature in which the protagonist encounters a Commodore. Daily life is thumbed in vigorous prose.

DP

DP is a moving tale that describes an orphanage run by nuns. The children there come from all nationalities. Many of the children are going through an identity crises. They feel the loss of having been abandoned by their parents.

The Barn House Effect

In the Barn House Effect, the author describes the powers of the mind which he defines as dynamo-psychism. The powers of the mind like clairvoyance, telepathy and exist as a hypothetical conjecture.

70 Romantic Phrases That Make Men Fall Deeper In Love

Shades of Praguian Yellow

Romantic communication is just one of the proven communication tools you can use to make your man fall madly in love and fulfill your heart’s romantic desires. There is a lot of love-creating power in the romantic words that come out of your mouth. This article will reveals 70 romantic phrases you can start using today to make your man fall madly in

love. You may not say these things phrased exactly the way I have written them, but if you want your man to be addicted to your love, you must speak to him with words that will melt the walls he has build around his heart.

Feel free to use any of the romantic phrases that best suit your communication style.

1. All I care about is being with you forever.

2. All the gold and diamond in the world are not enough to buy the love I have for you.

3. God created you for just for me.

4. I am addicted to your love.

5. I am crazy about you.

6. I cannot live without you.

7. I cannot stop thinking about you.

8. I did not mean to hurt your feelings.

9. I do not want to wake up from this wonderful dream with you.

10. I feel safe when I am with you.

11. I get lost in ecstasy when you make love to me.

12. I have finally discovered true love – you.

13. I love talking to you.

14. I love the way you make love to me.

15. I miss your hugs and kisses when we are apart.

16. I thank God for the day he brought you into my life.

17. I want to spend forever with you.

18. I will give anything to be with you.

19. I will give you my heart, my body, and my soul.

20. I will go with you to the ends of the world as long as you keep loving me.

21. I will rather be broke than trade your love for a million dollars.

22. I will travel a thousand miles to be with you.

23. I wish God had brought you to me sooner.

24. If anything happens to you, I will go crazy.

25. If I could I would make love to you a thousand times.

26. If I had to live life over again, I would live it with you.

27. If loving you is a sin, then let me be guilty.

28. If our love is blind, then I never want it to see the light of day.

29. Life without you will be like going to sleep and never having sweet dreams.

30. Loving you feels like heaven.

31. Loving you has made life even sweeter.

32. Loving you has made my life so full of joy and happiness.

33. My heart cries when we are apart.

34. You are my love, my heart, and my life.

35. No man has loved me the way you love me.

36. Nothing will ever stop me from loving you.

37. Ooh sweetie, you are so good to me.

38. Your warm hugs and your tender kisses are more precious than gold.

39. Talking to you is like sipping the most delicious wine – I want it to last forever.

40. The times we spend together are like precious gems that money cannot buy.

41. Time stops when you hold me in your arms.

42. When I am with you, my troubles seem to melt away.

43. When I look at you I see a man that I find irresistible.

44. Words are not enough to express how much I love you.

45. You are my prince.

46. You are my soul mate.

47. You are the most important person in my life.

48. You are the music that makes my heart sing.

49. You are the only man I ever want in my life.

50. You are the other half that makes me feel whole.

51. You are the perfect man for me.

52. You are the sweetest man I know.

53. You bring nothing but love, peace, joy, and happiness to my soul.

54. You bring so much joy and happiness to my life.

55. You love me gently.

56. You make me feel like a woman.

57. You make me feel so good I want to kiss you from your head to your toe.

58. You make me want you more each day.

59. You treat me like a princess and I love you with all my heart.

60. Your are the kindest man I know.

61. Your caring words touch the deepest part of me.

62. Your hugs and kisses melt my heart like chocolate ice cream on a warm summer day.

63. Your kisses are like warm chocolate on a cold winter night.

64. Your kisses are so good I feel tingles all over.

65. Your love is like a solid rock that will never break.

66. Your love is so good I can’t get away even if I wanted to.

67. Your love warms my heart like the glow of a candle light in a midsummer night’s dream.

68. Your loving whispers in a moon-lit night are like soothing wine, they put me in the mood.

69. Your smile is so comforting it makes my tears go away.

70. Your gentle touch sends chills up and down my spine.

Life without endearing words is like being in a garden without flowers. Endearing words create a feeling that transcends our reality and makes life worth living.

Feel free to to share this article with all your friends.

Fun Facts About South America

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DID YOU KNOWN THAT …

Brazil has many famous actresses, some of them are: Gloria Pires, Fernanda Montenegro, Florionda Bolkan, Sonia Braga, Regina Duarte, Vera Fischer, Xuxa, and Bruna Lombardi.

DID YOU KNOWN THAT …

Miss Universe pageant 1982 was held in Lima, Peru, where Karen Diane Baldwin of Canada won. The judges were: Cecely Tyson (actress), Mario Vargas Llosa (writer), Ron Duguay (sportsman), Franco Nero (actor), Carole Bouquet (actress), Dong Kingman (painter), Ira von Furstenberg (princess), David Coperfield (illusionist), David Merrick (theatrical producer), and Gladys Zender (Miss Peru and Miss Universe 1957).

DID YOU KNOWN THAT …

Quito, Ecuador's capital, is a city which reflects beautiful colonial architecture. It is surrounded by big mountains.

DID YOU KNOWN THAT …

"Evita" a film by British director Alan William Parker was inspired in the life of Maria Eva Duarte de Peron, who was first lady of Argentina in the past century.

DID YOU KNOWN THAT …

Oswaldo Guayasamin was one of the best painters in South America.He was born on July 6, 1919, in Quito, Ecuador.

DID YOU KNOWN THAT …

Colombia hosted the Pan American Games (1971).

DID YOU KNOWN THAT …

Gabriel Jose Garcia Marquez is one of the best writers in South America. He was born on March 6, 1928, in Aracataca, Magdalena, Colombia.Gabriel Garcia Marquez won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1982.

DID YOU KNOWN THAT …

Rosalia Arteaga Serrano de Fernandez de Cordova had an ephemeral government. She became Ecuador's first female head of state for only two days in 1997.

DID YOU KNOWN THAT …

Brazil has had many famous athletes in the 20th century: Joao Carlos de Oliveira (track and field), Ana Mozer (volleyball), Edson Arantes do Nacimento (soccer), Djan Madruga (swimming), Maria Esther Bueno (tennis), Marcelo Ferreira (sailing), Hortencia Marcari Oliva (basketball), Gustavo Borges (swimming), Robson Caetano da Silva (track and field), Adhemar Ferreira (track and field), Marcia Fu Cunha (volleyball), Oscar Schmidt (basketball), Marcelo Negrao (volleyball), Joaquin Cruz (track and field), and Rogerio Sampaio (judo).

DID YOU KNOWN THAT …

UNESCO has declared Noel Kempff Mercado National Park (Bolivia), Rapa Nui National Park (Chile), Malpelo Fauna and Flora Sanctuary (Colombia), Galapagos Islands (Ecuador), Central Suriname Nature Reserve (Suriname) and Jesuit Missions of La Santisima Trinidad de Parana and Jesus de Tavarange (Paraguay) World Heritages Sites.

DID YOU KNOWN THAT …

The Colombian people have two idols: Shakira (singer) and Carlos Vives (singer) …

Change the World

All dressed up!

We are capable of changing the world, Farrukh told me while I sunk in the depth of my thoughts. He started nonstop talking without realizing where he is sitting and what he is saying. Without spending time with him, I moved away.

At that time I realized he was right because people like us are capable of changing the world but may be he even do not know why only we and not others. While I was moving away, Farrukh was continuing saying insignificant and stupid sentences. I observed that he is not a normal human he is essentially abnormal because he has more emotions in him which is flowing in the ridiculous way and he always talk more than normal because he eject his extra emotions in the form of words. The people having more emotions also have more potential and ability to change others. If you list the people who influenced the people of the world, you find that these people had extra emotions. In addition, these people utilize their extra emotions in a very positive way by speaking, writing, poetry, art etc.

The best example is of Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, the ex-prime minister of Pakistan who changed the minds of millions peoples in Pakistan, had extra emotions in him but he utilized those emotions in his debt. Whenever I asked about him from his fans, they told that he was a great speaker. He influenced on the psychic of the people by his speaking power however, such persons are even more practical than others. I am the fan of the famous columnist, Javed Chaudhary. I read most of his columns and I realized that he is also an emotional person but utilizing his emotions in the form of valuable words.

Every person of the world possesses emotions but its level varies in each individual. The level by which we identify elevated emotions is the habits and acts one show during its normal life. I analyzed that poets, writers and artists come under this category but they are utilizing their elevated emotions in a positive way. The extra emotions need to eject out, it flows, and no one stops its way. The most concerned thing is the way that it flows out from one's acts. It is something like water, which is flowing towards the unspecified way, but you manage to divert its position towards right path but can not stop the flow. If a person utilizes its emotions in a very right and positive manner then it will make a difference however, its flow in wrong direction produces ruin, terrible and harmful personalities.

Whenever I see emotional peoples, I start thinking that emotions changes the world but that change is always unidirectional.

Sell More Books on Amazon

Sissinghurst Castle and Garden - The Famous White Garden

Why Should Your Book Be on Amazon.com?

Credibility. If your book is important, it should be available at the world’s biggest book store.

Visibility. People (including members of the media) will find your book and learn about you through your appearance on Amazon. (That’s how I got into Woman’s Day magazine.)

Money. You will sell books you wouldn’t have sold otherwise. Many buyers won’t buy from your Web site or other sources, but will buy at Amazon. And, Amazon pays like clockwork.

Get Your Book Listed on Amazon.com

Your publisher or distributor will handle getting your book into the Amazon catalog. If you are self-published and don’t have a distributor, join Amazon Advantage at http://www.Amazon.com/advantage

To participate in Advantage, you must have distribution rights, and your book must have a scannable barcode of the ISBN.

Amazon Marketplace

Once your book is listed, you can also sell it directly to consumers through Amazon Marketplace. You will find more information about this on the Advantage information page listed above.

Amazon Associates

Once your book is listed on Amazon, join the Associates program http://www.Amazon.com/associates

As an Associate, you get a commission on book sales referred from your Web site. Why send people to Amazon from your Web site? Some people won’t buy from you. They don’t know you and they don’t trust you. But they do trust Amazon. Or, maybe they want to qualify for free shipping.

Enhance Your Book’s Detail Page

Add cover art, book description, editorial reviews, table of contents, excerpts, author information and more. Make your book’s listing just as complete and impressive as the latest from Stephen King, John Grisham and other major authors. For more information, see Bookseller Services at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/catalog-guide/guide/-/372286/ or log in to your Advantage account. Amazon will generally not allow URLs in your content, so don’t try to slip your Web site in.

Search Inside the Book

This is controversial, but many publishers say they sell more books as a result of SITB. My sales seemed to go up after my book was in. You send Amazon a copy of your book, they scan it and make the entire book searchable. It increases the chances your book will come up during searches on the Amazon.com web site. You’ll find information on the Advantage page.

Use the tools Amazon.com provides to bring book buyers to your page and sell more books.

Dan Brown's Angels and Demons – A True Masterpiece

Shades of Praguian Yellow

Like most people, I did not read Angels and Demons until after I read The DaVinci Code. Blown away by The DaVinci Code, I gave Angels and Demons a try. Dan Brown, yet again, weaved a complicated web of plot, character, murder and suspense, keeping the ending unknown until the very last page.

Angels and Demons starts out with the beloved scholar / symbologist Robert Langdon, who is awoken by a phone call early in the morning. After a disturbing fax that reveals a mutilated human body, Robert sets off on a high intensity journey in hopes of stopping a murderous cult.

I would highly recommend any of Dan Brown's books, but especially Angels and Demons. A word of warning: if you are not 100% set in your faith, do not read this book. Just like The DaVinci Code, Angels and Demons cause controversies with its inclusion of the Catholic Church and religious myths. It was this controversy that initially caused me to buy his books. I am someone who is deeply sure of my faith, and because of this assurance, I did not second guess my beliefs for a work of fiction.

Part of this controversy is from people who are worried that these books will have other people deny their faith because they have another point of view containing unanswered questions. In my personal opinion, if reading any work of fiction is going to cause you to question your beliefs and faith, you really did not have faith to begin with.

Joke Writing – How Can I Learn to Write Jokes?

Pathway

It started very simply for one well-known comedian. He was out with nothing to do one day and decided to buy a book. The subject of the book was how to write books, and the result changed his life. He has since had a television show in his own name, the hosted a famous and tremendously successful comedy show, and he is the new host of The Price is Right.

That's right, Drew Carrey got his start simply by buying a book on how to write jokes. So now you must be asking yourself, how can I learn to write jokes . If thats the case, then I hope to give you a few tips from my own experience.

The most important thing is to not be afraid of embarrassment. You will need to be a clown, be a fool. Some of your jokes will work and some will not, but they all need to be tested no matter what. In order to accurately be sure of the results of your test, you will need to be your own worst critic. The response you want is a full belly laugh, a loud guffaw, not just a polite giggle.

What ever you plan to write for, whether it be a novel, sitcom, or if your aim is to do stand-up comedy, people will expect a higher level of joke, then a group of friends might. Your friends will be more forgiving than an audience in a bar, even if they have had a bit to drink. If you are looking to write jokes, then chances are you are already a funny person and your friends, want to laugh at you, a sitcom audience want to not laugh at you.

Joke Writing – How Can I Learn to Write Jokes?

Lake @ the Lake District

It started very simply for one well-known comedian. He was out with nothing to do one day and decided to buy a book. The subject of the book was how to write books, and the result changed his life. He has since had a television show in his own name, the hosted a famous and tremendously successful comedy show, and he is the new host of The Price is Right.

That's right, Drew Carrey got his start simply by buying a book on how to write jokes. So now you must be asking yourself, how can I learn to write jokes . If thats the case, then I hope to give you a few tips from my own experience.

The most important thing is to not be afraid of embarrassment. You will need to be a clown, be a fool. Some of your jokes will work and some will not, but they all need to be tested no matter what. In order to accurately be sure of the results of your test, you will need to be your own worst critic. The response you want is a full belly laugh, a loud guffaw, not just a polite giggle.

What ever you plan to write for, whether it be a novel, sitcom, or if your aim is to do stand-up comedy, people will expect a higher level of joke, then a group of friends might. Your friends will be more forgiving than an audience in a bar, even if they have had a bit to drink. If you are looking to write jokes, then chances are you are already a funny person and your friends, want to laugh at you, a sitcom audience want to not laugh at you.